


Just Another Saturday Night

by missrhondalee



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Hanging Out, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Life changing decision, Season Eight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missrhondalee/pseuds/missrhondalee
Summary: ...Or is it?With Shirley gone, Carmine and Laverne's friendship takes an unexpected turn.
Relationships: Laverne DeFazio/Carmine Ragusa
Kudos: 3





	Just Another Saturday Night

They were sitting on the couch watching TV like every Saturday night for the last eight weeks. He'd usually come over with snacks around seven and leave around midnight then they would joke around hoping the next weekend they'd finally have dates..only to realize they didn't and found themselves back at square one. Basically, their lives turned upside down when Shirley left two months ago and it went downhill from there. The woman took off with just a note and if it had been tough for Carmine, although they'd broken things off romantically forever when she was about to get married, it was nothing compared to how Laverne felt. How would you feel if your best friend in the entire world just abandoned you out of the blue? Okay, Laverne understood that it had to happen at some point, one of them would end up getting married and would have to leave the other...she just never thought she would be the one left behind.

She'd been sinking into depression until that one morning about two weeks ago when she received a letter from Shirley explaining that she had no other choice than leave in a hurry and that the reason she took so long to write to her was because her new baby took up all her time. Her water broke literally as she was about to write that letter and obviously after that she got sidetracked with a million things to do. The girls eventually managed to talk on the phone and they promised each other to stay in touch but Laverne doubted she would. Their last phone conversation was nine days ago, she knew calling from or to Europe was expensive but even so she had a feeling their friendship was coming to an end. Shirley had a whole new life now in another country halfway across the planet. Laverne knew she was history not in so many words but she knew. Sure, obviously, it hurt but if she were honest, it hurt more that her friend had succeeded and she had nothing. Ever since she learned Shirley's baby was born, Laverne's biological clock started ticking and since she'd only gone out with losers for the past three years, most of them married, she knew she'd need a miracle from cupid at this point to not only find the perfect _single_ guy but right away. She wasn't getting any younger and every time she walked past pregnant women, she'd start screaming internally because she wasn't one of them.

If Laverne felt like her life wasn't going anywhere, Carmine pretty much felt the same. Shirley marrying another guy after she'd strung him along for all these years was kind of a tough pill to swallow. He'd wasted so much time hoping she'd choose him only to be dumped royally. He tried to be happy for her but he knew it would take a long time to stop resenting her for it and the only reason he hadn't sunken into some kind of depression himself was because Laverne had been there. They'd somehow helped each other getting through her departure by keeping each other company. Like they were doing right now. Carmine sighed as he reached for the remote and Laverne said nothing as he flipped through the channels. It was past eleven o'clock and needless to say nothing interesting was on...except for the naughty channel and their mutual lack of a sex life hit them unexpectedly in the face as they found themselves unable to look away.

Laverne tilted her head slightly to the side, "How on earth can she bend her leg like that?"

"Just one of those wonderful things the human body can do."

"Well, would you look at that." Laverne exclaimed now as they watched some guy remove his towel to show off way more than what Carmine wanted to see. "Damn!"

Carmine snorted, "Oh, come on, you think he's good looking? Give me a break..."

"Fuck yeah. Are you kidding?"

"I guess he's okay if you're into pasty, lanky guys..."

She nudged him playfully, "What's the matter Ragusa, feeling insecure?"

Carmine spluttered, "What?! No..."

"Oh, no. She dropped the soap. You think he's going to help her pick it up?" she giggled, "Oh look! he is."

"Okay." Carmine changed the channel suddenly just as she was really getting into it. "How about something more family oriented?"

"What are you doing?! Change the channel back!"

"Nope."

"Come on! We were getting to the good part. I want to know how it ends." Laverne struggled to grab the remote from him as Carmine put it out of her reach. "It ends with them sweating and panting loudly."

Laverne crossed her arms pouting, "You're no fun."

"And that's why you love me."

Carmine chuckled at Laverne sticking her tongue out.

"Now _I love Lucy_ reruns. Much better."

_More I love Lucy after these messages._

Laverne whined as commercials appeared on the screen.

"I liked the other channel better."

"Of course you did."

As if the universe was playing some sort of joke on her, most of these commercials were baby related ones.

She sighed loudly at the one about diapers, "Wouldn't it be nice to buy diapers?"

"I think you're good for the next fifty years there, Laverne."

Carmine yelped as she elbowed him in the side. "Shut up. I meant, wouldn't it be nice to have a baby to buy the diapers for."

Now she felt lousy again. It had felt nice not to think about her nonexistent future for a while until Ragusa changed the channel. Now she was back obsessing about her lack of children again. "Is it lame to be jealous of your best friend? She's married with a kid and I've got...zilch."

He tried cheering her up. "Aww. You'll find someone."

"Yeah, I don't think so. I only get involved with married guys, remember?" An image of herself falling into a fish tank popped into her brain. Laverne cringed feeling her cheeks redden with embarrassment. Clearly, not one of her finest moments.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think I'm going to find someone to spend my life with either." he'd given so much of himself to stay with Shirley and look how that turned out...Sure, he still went on dates, although his last one was ages ago, but it did nothing for him anymore. He was getting too old for this crap. He wanted to skip the dating part and settle right away. Laverne wasn't the only one whose clock was ticking nowadays.

"You still have it easier than me. Guys can have kids until they literally die. Me? I'm good for the next five, ten years if I'm lucky then that's it. Basically, if I want children it would have to be right now to maximize my chances. I'm thirty years old and I sure ain't getting any younger."

Although Carmine felt the same, he didn't know what to say and the awkward pause between them that followed was putting a damper on his mood. Laverne was starting to depress him so he suggested to change the channel to lighten things up. Australian football was on. "Now that's something worth watching."

If Carmine was trying to move on from their baby related conversation and focus on the game, Laverne was unable to and she couldn't help glancing his way and that made him uncomfortable.

After another five minutes of his friend behaving strangely, Carmine turned the TV off and rose abruptly to his feet, "Okay. Why are you looking at me like that?"

She was on her feet too, "What do you mean? I'm not looking at you..."

He took a deep breath, "Is that the baby thing again?"

Laverne shrugged, "Think about it Carmine. Your life isn't going anywhere..."

Somehow it was okay if he said it but if she did then it offended him. "Thank you..."

"If I'm so wrong, why have we been spending every Saturday night together for the last eight weeks?"

"I didn't want you to be alone..."

"So you're hanging out with me out of pity? Thanks a lot!" now she was upset.

"Come on. Don't be like that. I was worried about you." he tried explaining that at first it was because he was worried but now he actually enjoyed spending his Saturday nights with her. It gave him something to look forward to every week and it was a lot better than hanging out with Lenny and Squiggy at the women's prison. Even more since that chunky girl started asking after him.

"So that's how we're going to spend the rest of our lives, hang out every Saturday night until one of us drops dead? Is this it? I want more out of life..."

He scoffed, "You and me both but we don't really have a choice unless we find someone..."

Laverne stepped closer to him suddenly and began tugging on his shirt. "What if we don't have to look for anyone? I mean..you're here..I'm here..."

Although Carmine enjoyed the sensation of her hands on him, especially since he couldn't remember the last time something remotely sexual had happened to him, he was lucid enough to understand her behavior was caused by a number of circumstances.

He removed her hands. "Remember that fling we had years ago? Remember how that turned out? The name calling, the shouting. You want this to happen again?"

"We were different people back then and Shirley isn't here anymore..."

Laverne's hands were back tugging on his shirt and Carmine had to take a step back when she began reaching for his belt.

He cleared his throat, "I don't think so." the fact that he was still thinking clearly despite all of this and the dirty movie they stumbled upon earlier was honestly a miracle.

She sighed as a sad look now appeared on her face "I'm tired of coming home every day after work to an empty apartment. I want someone to be waiting for me, you know? I want someone to be excited to see me walk through that door every night."

Carmine shrugged, "Get a dog. He'll be excited to see you."

She shoved him slightly, "I'm serious, Carmine."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, aren't you tired of being alone too?"

"And a kid is going to fix that?"

"Well, yeah...unless you don't want kids."

Carmine nodded but then shook his head, "I do. But..."

"I'm willing to give you one..unless you don't think I'm good enough for you."

"Do you hear yourself, how crazy-" he gestured in the air, "this sounds?"

"It doesn't sound that crazy to me."

"Laverne, you haven't thought this through."

"Trust me, I have. What do you think I've been thinking about lying wide awake in bed every night since Shirl left?"

Carmine found himself starting to soften but his common sense brought him back.

"No. No. We can't do this. This is crazy."

"Give me a reason why we can't."

"Uh, because this isn't how it works?"

"Well, I'm a woman. You're a man. If my biology from middle school serves me correctly this is how it works."

Carmine rolled his eyes, "I meant we, you and I-' he gestured again, 'can't do this. Come on, do I really have to spell it out for you."

Laverne crossed her arms shrugging, "Yes, please."

"What?"

"Spell it out for me."

Was she for real? "Uh, okay." Carmine rubbed his forehead as he began enumerating reasons. "How about we don't have money? How about we have lousy jobs that barely pay the bills? How about having a child is a lifelong commitment? Oh, and that would also imply us sleeping together."

Laverne winked seductively, "Would that be so bad?"

Carmine chuckled nervously, "Come on, it's ridiculous."

She took a step closer, "Or is it?"

All this sex talk was making Carmine's arousal grow, after all he was only human and it had been so damn long. He tried to think of something to get out of here before he wouldn't be mentally strong enough to resist her. "Well, would you look at that?" he pointed at his watch feigning a yawn and a stretch, "It's almost midnight. Time for me to go home. I'll see you later, Vernie." Carmine turned around and started leaving and he thought it had worked until he saw Laverne following him all the way up to his apartment.

He glanced behind his shoulder as he was unlocking the door. "What are you doing?"

He cleared his throat as she stood behind him. Was this one of the Lord's tests again? The same he used to have with Shirley until he had to take a cold shower? He thought those days were over when she got married! Laverne followed him all the way to his bedroom. She even turned on the light.

"Will you get out of my bedroom?!"

"Nope."

They stared at each other silently then Laverne crossed her arms.

"Carmine..."

He crossed his arms too. "Laverne..."

Despite the fact they were smiling, Carmine tried to reason with her. "Laverne, be serious for a minute. I know Shirley leaving changed everything and it's been tough..but a child? This is insane-"

"What would Frank say?"

"I think my pop isn't expecting anything anymore at this point." the fact that Shirley had gotten married before his daughter made him lose hope. Even more when her dating history all implied losers and married men. "But hey, we're both Italians!"

"Yeah, and I'm also the guy who dated your best friend for over a decade. Not to mention I'm pretty sure your grandmother hates me for ruining her trip to Italy."

Laverne groaned, "Come on, that was ages ago. You're just looking for excuses."

"Excuses? I'm not. What are you doing-" he asked now as she stepped closer to him. Carmine knew he was in trouble when she started kissing him. He could somehow still think clearly if she was at a reasonable distance from him but now that her hands were roaming over his body and he felt her lips brushing along his neck, his lucidity was slowing being thrown out the window.

Looking down at his pants, Laverne chuckled noticing a distinct bulge growing.

Carmine managed to grab her wrists just as she was about to undo his pants.

"No. We can't do this. I'm serious."

"Why notttttt." Laverne whined, beyond frustrated now. "Come on, aren't you tired of being lonely? Isn't it about time we did something constructive with our lives?" then she pouted, "Don't you love me?"

She was still pouting and he finally nodded seconds later, "Yeah. Yes, I do."

Now she was smiling again, "What more do you need then?"

Laverne stood inches from the bed and the second Carmine shrugged agreeing that he didn't need anything more. She pulled him to his bed and they fell into it.

Laverne giggled as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Buckle up pal, it's going to be a bumpy ride!"


End file.
